Dealing with the Unemployment Office

Maybe it isn't so bad for folks that don't have anxiety and/or depression. But I think it is. However, if you have ended up at the Unemployment Office even if you aren't diagnosed with Panic Disorder/Anxiety/ Depression, you are under stress enough. Losing a job is a death. Most especially if it was a long term job that you thought would take you through to your retirement. A death of plans, of security, of paying your mortgage on time as you have for the last 25 years (7 years in this house), of eating out, of buying little things for the grand babies, of accrued sick and vacation time, of relationships.  You even miss those people who annoyed the hell out of you in cubicle land.

Of course there are forms, and more forms. Then other forms. Then two different websites you must register with. Then you wait to see if your former job is going to be an ass about you collecting your 462.00 a week.  www.workintexas.com actually has a pretty nifty resume builder and a job search piece that is nicely done, easy to navigate and user friendly. The only downside is there aren't any jobs in a 100 mile radius that I qualify for or that pay even 1/2 what I made previously. Hence the reason I stayed so long when it was obvious to all I was next on the list for termination.

Pro Tip: try not to have an anxiety attack when talking with the facilitator during orientation. Bless her heart, she was kind and gentle dealing with this crazy person. I imagine facilitators get training specifically on how to deal with people that can't breathe and are shaking out of their shoes. Once I have some sort of job and don't have to count every little penny anymore I am sending her flowers.

I am now required to apply for at least five jobs a week. I am not penalized for not taking a job that doesn't pay within 95% of what I made at the old cubicle farm. After a certain amount of weeks (maybe 12?) that drops to 65%. Soon thereafter I am kicked off the unemployment wagon. I did my five this week and even interviewed for one. That went extremely well, until she asked why I left my last job. I don't even remember leaving her establishment. Suddenly I was 1/2 way home with snot and tears running off my chin. Pretty sure I'm not getting that one. It was just a part time little something to have some money coming in and a place to go. Now my anxiety ridden brain is scared of what will happen when I go for a job interview for a job that I really want.

I feel so raw and exposed.